The same thing every day!

I never liked the movie Groundhog Day but now I'm living its script. At some point each day I receive a phone call from Mom about going home. Sometimes it's just: "I have good news, I'm ready to go home." Sometimes the tone is much angrier and accusatory: "I don't see why you made the decision for me to spend my life here and you made a very bad judgment. A good daughter would have me live with her. I don't need much care and this place is not my choice."

I have now spoken to nurses and social workers in search of the perfect answer to these phone calls. There is no perfect answer! Each day I struggle to extricate myself from the web that the phone call traps me in and each day I either breathe a sigh of relief or struggle to recompose myself for the next encounter. Mom never remembers that we've spoken about it so the scene replays and replays. But, I remember! This is clearly a case of "be careful what you wish for." I sometimes wish she'd forget my phone number--that will mean that her memory has diminished again; I wish to not take the phone call--that means that I feel guilty for abandoning her which is part of her accusation in the first place;I wish to not let the call touch me or bother me--that means that I have changed from the person I've been for over 60 years--not a change I'm so willing to accept; and I wish for this to end--we all know what that means!

So, for now I need to field the phone calls and struggle for the correct answer du jour. Some day I may just come up with the universally great answer--that would be a wonderful way to move the calendar away from February 2nd.