Who's Crying Now?

When my brother and I were children there were times that playtime ended with one of us crying.  We'd cry because we lost the game, cry because it was getting dark and had to come in for bed, or cried because one of us was teasing the other.  When my own kids were growing up I could sometimes figure out how long it might be until someone was crying, mainly by the moods/teasing/noise/or sixth sense that all mothers develop.

So, I have experience with crying.  But now, I have no ammunition for my mother's crying.  She is becoming increasingly aware of her memory loss.  I really try to soften the blow, but too many times there is a visit, phone call, doctor's appointment or conversation that she forgets.  When it becomes apparent that she has no recollection of the event she is amazed that she could forget such a thing.  She recently asked me if any of my children are dating anyone special.  I told her that Dan and Scott are already married.  She wanted to know why she hadn't been to the weddings and I reluctantly told her that she attended Dan and Jill's wedding and walked down the aisle with Scott and Jeremy.  Of course she was surprised to have forgotten such an event.  And she cried.

This morning we had a similar discussion.  She asked about our family and I named each member with their ages and where they live.  She asked me why she doesn't remember any of this and I simply said that the problem sometimes comes with age, but she's in better shape than many people her age.  And she cried.  "What's the point of living this long if I can't remember any of these things?", she asked.  I am baffled for an answer.  All I hear is her anxiety and desperate attempt to hold on to the information and identity that is rapidly being sapped from her.  How do I answer and make her feel better when I'm the one that cried?