The Day I Stole Mom's Car

Having a parent with dementia can be depressing and painful, but this one day, it yielded embarrassment and even a little comic relief.  While my uncle was in the hospital, my mother was very upset--she wandered the halls of the nursing home looking for him.  She was moody and upset.  Although I called and visited her during this time I could never have anticipated the phone call that came while my uncle was still hospitalized.

The floor nurse, Marcia called me while I was shopping for a few things to bring to mom.  She explained that Mom was crying in her room and needed to hear my voice.  I was completely prepared for the crying and need for reassurance.  I was not, however, prepared to get on the phone and hear Mom screaming at me.  This is how a lot of the conversation went:
Mom: I hope you're satisfied.  You dropped me off in this awful place without paying attention to what I need.  I hope you're happy. Why did you steal my car?  I have a lot to do today and now I can't get it done because you stole my car.
Me: I didn't steal your car--you sold your car 10 years ago because you were having trouble seeing when you drove.  What would you like to get done today?
Mom:  I have errands to do-- I should have driven you to work and then taken the car to get everything done.  But NO! You didn't care at all about me, instead, you selfishly took the car and now I'm out of luck--what kind of caring daughter do you think you are?
Me: Mom, I didn't steal your car.  I have my car.  What can I get done for you to help you out?
Mom(yelling): Why should I have you do anything for me?  You're selfish and only thinking of yourself.  Come and pick me up NOW, and then I'll be able to use my own car. I should have driven you to work instead of doing things your way, which stinks for me.  Now, I'm out of luck!
Me (trying to remain calm, while other shoppers in the store are looking at me suspiciously, probably believing that I actually DID steal Mom's car): I'm afraid I can't come right now, but if you tell me what you need, I'll get it for you and see you soon.

This same conversation played over and over for half and hour while I sat in the shoe department of the store.  I finally told Mom I had to go and asked her to hang up.  She wouldn't, and kept haranguing me, so I reluctantly hung up and then called the floor nurse back to explain.  She apologized for "setting me up" and told me she would try to calm Mom down.  I then called the social worker to ask for her assistance.  I left the store in tears, realizing that Mom wouldn't remember any part of our conversation within ten minutes, but it would haunt me for several days to come.

So, the day that I stole Mom's car can now be re-told for comic relief.  It is a little funny, but not really!