"This is the Bread of Affliction"

The Haggadah tells us that matzo is the bread of affliction since it reminds us of the hurried way the Jews needed to leave their days of slavery in Egypt.  Of course, the argument could be made that it is also the bread of freedom, since the Jews ate it as they fled their bondage.

Yesterday I attended the Seder at the nursing home.  The tables were set with flowers and lovely table linens as a Cantor led the luncheon.  It should have been a wonderful time for me to share with my mother and uncle-- a way to connect and celebrate yet another holiday the way we have done all my life.  Unfortunately that wasn't the way it went.  Mom was very grouchy and not feeling well.  She was angry about her seat, angry because her hearing aids are still not ready from the audiologist, and angry because she felt rushed even though she got up and ate breakfast at 11:00 AM.  My uncle was very tired and unable to hear the Cantor.  So, they both slept through most of the meal and complained for the other parts of the time.  There was absolutely no way to make them happy though I did try-- I really did. This meal was nothing like the loving times we've spent together on holidays in the past!

I just read an article that states that people with dementia are possibly angels sent by G-d to remind us of the fragile balance of our lives.  The angels are freed of filters that stand in the way of spirituality and acceptance of G-d's will.  If this is true, then there were so many angels at the Seder yesterday! The frustration the Cantor felt for the inattentiveness of his audience and my own feelings of loss should be tempered then, by the understanding that we needed to be in the presence of these angels for a reason only G-d understands. I truly hope the article is right.  Otherwise I can't find a single reason to attend next year.  Mom didn't remember that I was there and my uncle missed most of the time anyway.

So, yesterday the matzo represented affliction.  The affliction of old age, dementia and failing health. But,  it also represented the freedom that will some day come to those angels in attendance.  For the rest of us, it was the bread of ancient ritual and tradition still shared with treasured family members.