Can I Keep My Sense of Humor?

I had a conversation with a friend this morning about maintaining a sense of humor on the days that I visit the nursing home.  She also had a parent who lived in a nursing home and understands the tedium, anxiety and sadness that comes from the nursing home environment.  BUT, her mother didn't have dementia and died at 99 years old!

Today was one of the days that I needed to see the humor, but it escaped me.  My uncle was upset because his nightly routine was disrupted last night. He was concerned because he wanted to get an important set of paperwork signed.  Mom was upset because she was very tired and wanted to sleep.  Instead, I tried to keep her awake in order to guarantee a good night's sleep tonight (if she sleeps during the day, she is up until the wee hours of the morning). I also added the suggestion of a hair salon appointment that was definitely needed. I sat in the dining room listening to the litany of complaints and finally tried to convince Mom to get the haircut.  That's when she literally dragged her feet and prevented me from pushing the wheelchair!  It was classic 2 year old temper tantrum material that was accompanied by loud protests and barbs at my devotion as a daughter. Add my uncle's shouts of "mama" to the chorus and I should have been laughing--it didn't happen! I should have remembered my daughter-in-law's smile when she reminded me that I could be doing this for another 18 years! (This is an inside joke, but it does lighten the mood somehow).

I am really working on the humor thing--can I see their behavior as a valiant effort to maintain some control over their lives?  Can I also see that I am the only one who tends to their needs so I'm the one who hears all the complaints?  Can I stop seeing myself in their position long enough to also just laugh at the insanity that permeates the institutional existence?  I need to really laugh, because otherwise I just need a good cry sometimes.