Today is the last day of 2012 and people get sappy about the year that has gone by while they make resolutions that frequently are not kept. I will avoid all of that. I will revel in the fact that my mother still knows who I am when I visit. I will take note of the happiness I see on her face when she asks me about our family--though she asks it over and over again in a single fifteen minute time period. I will hope that the new year finds me able to continue to visit and bring news of the outside world to my mother and my uncle. Finally, I will think about the years that my mother and father lovingly cuddled on the couch as they watched Guy Lombardo on New Year's Eves. Their total devotion to each other and lasting love is what I hang on to. It is not something that "should be forgot" as Auld Lang Syne says, but rather, it is what gives me hope of a good New Year for our family. I believe that somewhere in the tangled neurons of Mom's brain she still basks in that love that sustained her and gave meaning to all of our lives.
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Feliz Cumpleanos/ Yom Huledet Same'ach
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Yesterday was my mother's 88th birthday and to hear her tell it, she's now officially "a really old bag".
Her sense of humor was intact and her attentiveness was better than many other days so I guess we were in a win, win situation. We celebrated the way we've done for the last few years--Larry and I brought lunch to be eaten in the nursing home's conference room, we sang "happy birthday", ate cake and opened a present or two.
I know that Mom didn't remember that it was her birthday...though she did recall the date of her birthday a few weeks ago. She seemed to be having a good time and was especially happy that her special friend, Stanley was there for the cake and the singing. I am quite certain that she forgot the entire event shortly after we left, but we now dwell in the moment. I look for happiness in her eyes and try to take satisfaction in successfully marking a special day in her life and sharing the moment.
My problems come from the times that I remember. I remember when my Dad would discreetly hand me money so I could purchase something nice for Mom since, in those days, the stores weren't open when he was off from work. I remember the entire family gathering for each of our birthdays. The feeling of warmth and love was always there, and I wish I had realized just how lucky we all were to have that when I was growing up. I mostly remember that the special glow of celebrating a birthday with those who love you would linger for many days afterwards. I mourn the fact that Mom no longer basks in that glow. She lives in the moment and for the moment. Remembrances of birthdays celebrated in the past are no longer held dear and she quickly moves to the next moment. So this is the reality we now share. Happy 88th Birthday, Mom!
Yesterday was my mother's 88th birthday and to hear her tell it, she's now officially "a really old bag".
Her sense of humor was intact and her attentiveness was better than many other days so I guess we were in a win, win situation. We celebrated the way we've done for the last few years--Larry and I brought lunch to be eaten in the nursing home's conference room, we sang "happy birthday", ate cake and opened a present or two.
I know that Mom didn't remember that it was her birthday...though she did recall the date of her birthday a few weeks ago. She seemed to be having a good time and was especially happy that her special friend, Stanley was there for the cake and the singing. I am quite certain that she forgot the entire event shortly after we left, but we now dwell in the moment. I look for happiness in her eyes and try to take satisfaction in successfully marking a special day in her life and sharing the moment.
My problems come from the times that I remember. I remember when my Dad would discreetly hand me money so I could purchase something nice for Mom since, in those days, the stores weren't open when he was off from work. I remember the entire family gathering for each of our birthdays. The feeling of warmth and love was always there, and I wish I had realized just how lucky we all were to have that when I was growing up. I mostly remember that the special glow of celebrating a birthday with those who love you would linger for many days afterwards. I mourn the fact that Mom no longer basks in that glow. She lives in the moment and for the moment. Remembrances of birthdays celebrated in the past are no longer held dear and she quickly moves to the next moment. So this is the reality we now share. Happy 88th Birthday, Mom!
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