Happy Birthday, Mom!
Yesterday was my mother's 88th birthday and to hear her tell it, she's now officially "a really old bag".
Her sense of humor was intact and her attentiveness was better than many other days so I guess we were in a win, win situation. We celebrated the way we've done for the last few years--Larry and I brought lunch to be eaten in the nursing home's conference room, we sang "happy birthday", ate cake and opened a present or two.
I know that Mom didn't remember that it was her birthday...though she did recall the date of her birthday a few weeks ago. She seemed to be having a good time and was especially happy that her special friend, Stanley was there for the cake and the singing. I am quite certain that she forgot the entire event shortly after we left, but we now dwell in the moment. I look for happiness in her eyes and try to take satisfaction in successfully marking a special day in her life and sharing the moment.
My problems come from the times that I remember. I remember when my Dad would discreetly hand me money so I could purchase something nice for Mom since, in those days, the stores weren't open when he was off from work. I remember the entire family gathering for each of our birthdays. The feeling of warmth and love was always there, and I wish I had realized just how lucky we all were to have that when I was growing up. I mostly remember that the special glow of celebrating a birthday with those who love you would linger for many days afterwards. I mourn the fact that Mom no longer basks in that glow. She lives in the moment and for the moment. Remembrances of birthdays celebrated in the past are no longer held dear and she quickly moves to the next moment. So this is the reality we now share. Happy 88th Birthday, Mom!
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