The Dental Dilemma

Mom has always hated going to the dentist and in her later years she really neglected her teeth.  She used to have a partial dental plate that filled in the gaps, but she recently lost several of her teeth that were holding the plate in place and now the plate was lost at the nursing home.  She presently looks awful! She really looks like someone who has nobody to care for her and it breaks my heart.  I arranged for a dentist to see her at the nursing home and was told that she needs to see an oral surgeon at the hospital. Eventually, after the extractions, new dentures would be fitted. I tried to explain all of this to mom last week when I visited during lunch time.

So today, I received a phone call from the nursing home's social worker who asked me to calm mom down and try to convince her to go with the aide for the dental appointment.  I was met by a lot of yelling and accusations about my lack of compassion, as well as, my inability to remember that mom had just visited the dentist herself.  Of course, she mentioned the dentist we used to see, who has been dead for the last 30 years! She then asked me to just leave her alone and not bother her with extra nonsense--she's fine; eating okay; and just doesn't want to go. I was able to convince her to go to the dentist and we would discuss the next step.  Luckily, she went.

Now the dilemma comes up.  She will need all of the rest of her teeth removed and will be without teeth for several weeks until the dentures can be fitted.  If she doesn't have the extractions, she may be able to eat for quite awhile, but some day she may have an infection in one of the remaining teeth and then would need emergency dental surgery and high doses of antibiotics.  Even if she gets the dentures she may not be able to adjust to them, and may not be able to ever eat solid food again.  So, what to do?
My brother ponders leaving her alone, worried about the end result of the extractions.  I worry about the possible infections.  There is no easy answer, but I'm leaning on the surgery.  Is it because I am vain for her?  Is it because I hate having her look so broken?  I really can't answer that today.  I only know that making the least lousy choice is really hard to do.