Sadness Prevails

The inevitable has happened. Mom's lethargy was part of a urinary tract infection that led to a hospitalization, that led to needing the custodial care in a nursing home. The events of the last week have given me a crash course in medicine (primarily geriatrics)and a preliminary degree in social work as well as disdain for our health care system. The idea that a middle class person who worked hard all their life and paid taxes while following all the rules should need to be bankrupted in order to get the help they need in old age is appalling and completely unacceptable. For all of the people who fear universal health care coverage and believe that it's socialism, try placing your parent in a nursing facility in their old age and then come back to report how well our present system functions. It is ludicrous to think that I needed to spend an entire week on the telephone trying to sort out the care options and placement for her instead of being able to spend that time visiting and comforting her while she was ill and afraid. And, in the end, found out that after paying for medical insurance for years and years, there is still no coverage available for a middle class person who needs custodial care. So all that my poor father worked 72 hours a week for, over a 45 year work history needs to evaporate before any assistance becomes viable. In a word, it's disgusting!!!!

All of that being said, I also need to come to terms with seeing my dear, sweet, intelligent mother needing a security ankle bracelet in the nursing home because she's a "flight risk". I need to field the constant questions about when she'll be going home and continue to be creative in answering those ponderings without owning up to the reality to her, that she most probably needs to stay there for her own protection. Of course thousands of people my age are doing exactly what I've done this week. That's little comfort because right now, sadness prevails.