Thanksgiving--Then and Now

When the Pilgrims celebrated their first Thanksgiving in the new land they were probably grateful for surviving their first year and for the bounty on their table but also were mindful of the way things were before they had to make so many adjustments in their lives. Surely they were saddened by those they left behind and for the irrevocable changes that occurred during the last year.

So, I can relate to those emotions as we approach this holiday of Thanksgiving. I am grateful for the bounty that awaits me--the joys of sharing a holiday in the home of our engaged son and future daughter-in-law and deliciously prepared food and good times to be shared with those we love. But I am also mindful of the way we used to celebrate the holiday. Long ago we sat at my mother's table as she proudly produced a perfectly prepared turkey and all the trimmings. My father would carve the turkey and inevitably spill the wine. We propped little ones on phone books and talked about the plans we had for the year to come. More recently, it was I who was the hostess serving our own children (at varying stages of their lives, and often on brief vacation from being away at school) and our aging relatives spent a few days catching up with the family. I reveled in having everyone together for just one long weekend.

Now, I need to adjust to the new order. Mom and uncle can no longer make the trip to celebrate the holiday, one child and his family, as well as our youngest, the PhD candidate, are over 500 miles away and the family cannot spend the holiday as one this year. It is sad, but true-- nothing stays the same. There is guilt about enjoying a holiday while mom and uncle need to stay at the nursing home far from family on Thanksgiving Day. The simple things we take for granted one year no longer apply the next. My Thanksgiving is blessed by still having my mom and I am grateful for my loving family and good times yet to come. But, just as the Pilgrims did so long ago I must take stock of all that is good in my life while I also mourn the loss of the way things used to be.