Yom Kippur

So today we fasted and prayed. The prayers were filled with hopes for health and happiness and for the prayers to be answered. There was the time of remembrance for all those dear relatives who are no longer with us--remembering them in happy times when our family was a whole, and praying for a time when we can feel complete and whole again.

Of course at that time I miss my Dad and wonder how aging would have affected him if he had been given the chance to grow old. I mourn the loss of him and think about how proud he would have been to see his grandchildren as they are now. He would have LOVED being a great-grandpa!

I also found myself mourning for the loss of the mother that I used to have. Of course I feel blessed to still be able to see her and speak to her, but the person that I mourn is the one who was strong, intelligent, capable and independent. The woman I now visit is just a shell of that other persona.

So on Yom Kippur it seems fitting to take a moment to reflect on all that was and all that we now have. So much has been gained, and yet, so much has been lost. I said a Yizkor for the times that can no longer be, and a prayer for the wisdom to remember those days fondly while relishing the new experiences that now fill my life....a day of reflection, sadness and hope.