An Island in Time

I decided it was a good idea to pick Mom up and bring her to our house for lunch. I was filled with anxiety about the day because I feared that once Mom was at our house she would refuse to leave or make a scene at the nursing home when we brought her back. I was cowardly enough to "buy" insurance of her return by suggesting that her male friend also come with us. Truth be told, I still feel indebted to him for all of the help he offered so freely when Mom was still living at home, so it seemed like a win-win situation. The trips back and forth to the Bronx were the only thing that I couldn't control, but with Larry splitting the driving with me it became less daunting.

I seriously doubt that we could duplicate the day, and I'm not sure I want to try, but for 4 hours I was able to forget that my mother has dementia and that she now resides in a nursing facility. She was so happy to be in the car going somewhere. She was engaged in some conversation and was more of her old self than I've seen her in a long time--this of course begs the question of what institutional living does to a person, but that will be a moot point for right now. For me, I was able to play hostess to two people who thoroughly enjoy each other's company and who savored the simple lunch and time on our deck. They marveled at a slideshow of vacation pictures from our beach vacation, and held hands on the couch as we chatted.

Even the trip home was the cutest thing--they fell asleep in the back seat of the car, holding hands! Of course they each needed their walker when the trip ended and we brought Stanley home, and Mom back to the nursing home, but who cares? For one afternoon we were all able to enjoy a simple time. We were exhausted by the driving and extra care of two senior people, but it was well worth it. I only hope that when I'm that age someone cares enough about me as a person to allow me the island in time that we shared on a summer afternoon.