Wednesday, October 28, 2015

We're Singing a New Song

Mom often sits in the hallway in front of her room these days.  She often sings.  The songs she sings are not really recognizable melodies, but rather, a combination of musical tones.  This can be comical or enraging.  When I visit, I try desperately to make conversation.  It is nearly impossible to talk to someone who is singing and making up music.  When I've asked Mom what she's singing, she just shrugs and says, " just a little ditty I just made up".  The last time I visited I decided to try something different.  I just began singing " You're a Grand Old Flag". " Yankee Doodle Dandy", " If I Were a Rich Man" and "Old Susannah".  The results were amazing.  Mom joined in and sang with me.  There were times that she didn't know the words, but then remembered them if we sang the song a second time.  It was incredible to hear her join in on old songs that she used to play on the piano and I believe it worked to reignite a few languishing brain cells, as well.  The nurses and other residents also seemed to enjoy our little "songfest" so now I think I will always bring the words to old familiar tunes with me when I visit.  It makes our time together more enjoyable and may take the place of music therapy that is not available on a regular basis.
Mom always loved music and used to sing show tunes while she did housework--I think those musical pathways are still alive, and I will do everything I can to enlist them when possible.
Dementia is not only a change in the person afflicted.  It changes the entire relationship.  So, now we make music together--not a bad way to spend an afternoon with someone you love.