Guilt, Sadness and Age

Every time in life has its highs and lows. Childhood always seems so attractive to adults because it seems so carefree. Yet, having spent so much time with small children I can tell you that childhood is fraught with disappointments, hurts, "boo-boos", fears about fitting in and wishing for the next step--growing up.

Adolescence is even worse, yet it is also the most fun anyone ever has. All that peer pressure, swirling hormones and struggling to find an identity separate from parents, blended with parties, learning to drive and having friends that mean the world to you makes it the most exciting and troublesome part of our days. Then, there is the decision to go to college (and which one) or to find a suitable job or to join the military.

Young adulthood also brings new responsibilities, connections with peers, bosses who may or may not appreciate your own special talents and the search for that one special person who makes you feel complete. On the heels of all of this comes marriage, parenthood and often, a mortgage. This is the central most defining part of anyone's life in so many ways. There is sadness is giving up the freedoms of younger, carefree days, a sense of time suddenly passing too quickly. It also holds hopes for success; schedules that are often unrelenting, sleepless nights and watching children take their first steps and say their first words.

Before we can turn around children turn into preteens and we turn into middle aged people. We sometimes witness deaths of a parent or other loved one and become so much more aware of our own mortality. There is often guilt in lost relationships or for time seemingly squandered. There is sadness for dreams that might never come to be and new hope for our own graceful aging and dreams yet to be realized while supporting the burgeoning dreams of our children.

By far, the worst time can be old age. Infirmity and our own ability to accept those changes define the way the world sees us. We can be "old biddies" and "grumpy old men" or distinguished elder statespeople of our generation. Some of it is our choice, but much is not. The luck of the draw and the sadness of dreams that never came to be; lost friends or spouses and frailities that seize our bodies or minds define how we will age. There is guilt for opportunities that defied our reach; anger for days spent in pain or boredom; and sadness for a life that seemingly went by while we were paying attention to something else. There is also the gift of more free time, glowing memories of trips taken and love that endures forever.

Each time of life has its good days and its bad. Life challenges us to rise above the guilt, sadness and aging that is inevitable and revel in the smallest genuinely joyful moments that fill our hearts with happiness and may be remembered vividly in the twilight of our days.