The result has been at least 5 phone calls each day with complaints about missing clothing (pieces that became soiled due to the virus, and needed to be washed), and anger about our decision to place her in the facility. I've been scolded for not consulting her about being there and I've been told more times than I can count that she would be happier at home taking care of herself. I was told, today, that the doctors recommend nursing homes because that helps the homes make money and the doctors get a kickback; and that she could have been a doctor since she knows how to take care of herself and everybody else.
I'm worn out. It's not that I don't feel sympathetic for her unhappiness. I really do! In fact, that's probably why the calls get to me the way they do. I understand how she feels, and I wish with all my heart that she could have spent her "golden years" in a different way. It's just that we couldn't find another way to keep her safe and she just doesn't understand our need to protect her. She thinks she's just there temporarily for this virus ( has no concept of the 14 months that have passed since she lived at home); and she's angry as can be that we didn't consult her when making the decision.
I pray for patience and strength to be able to weather the brow-beating and not become apathetic or angry. I pray for her to finally accept this new and unpleasant part of her life without hating me. Finally, I pray for the future to be less angry, less stressful, and the gift of an occasional glimpse of the person who used to be my mother. We all pray to get old--we just don't know how that will turn out. I pray for her to find some peace from the old age that betrayed her.
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